Friday, March 2, 2007

DAY 29: Feeling Blessed

I am feeling extremely blessed this morning.

I have been watching more TV lately than I usually do, and it seems like there has been a common thread on many of the shows I have tuned into. The thread is that of people - real, everyday people - who have been struck by every manner of tragedy. I sit in awe when I hear their stories, their trials, their tribulations, and what seems to me to be their dire circumstances and hopeless situations. And you know what shakes me the most? It's their faith and love that seem to always prevail. No matter what. It may take some time for the recovery process, but they all have managed to survive and become what they consider to be "a stronger, better, more spiritual" people.

I truly fear these kinds of tragedies in my life. I fear that I would slump down into a deep depression with no hope of rising again. I fear that I would not want life to go on. I fear that I would not like the person I might become. I fear that my faith would be shattered and my love would be shaken. I fear I would fear to love again. I pray today that I not be faced with these fears, and if I am that my faith and love will prevail. I thank God for all of the blessings that I have in my life.

I am so blessed to have a wonderful husband who has not once complained about our situation and all of his added responsibilities.

I am so blessed to have a precious daughter who continues to find joy and delight in her play area that has been transported to my hospital room.

I am so blessed to have a caring, supportive mom and an amazing set of in-laws who would be here at a drop of a hat to relieve the strain and stress of our situation.

I am so blessed to have the support and friendship of my sister, sister-n-law, and their incredible families.

I am so blessed to be carrying a healthy baby girl who continues to thrive with each passing day.

I am so blessed with the gift of limitless time - the one thing we all wish we had more of.

I am so blessed to be in a comfortable hospital room with a conservative, competent doctor who will do everything in his power for us to have a healthy baby girl.

I am so blessed to have a fun nursing staff who continue to encourage me on a daily basis.

I am so blessed to have a support system that through cyberspace has now expanded across the United States.

I am so blessed to have found peace with my situation and know that I can rest and be comforted.

I am just so incredibly blessed.

10 comments:

Mom aka MiMi said...

Ashley, You are such a blessing to me, you always have been, since the day you were born (conceived). I am so proud of you and I love you so much!! You constantly amaze me as I get to know the wonderful woman you have become and are still becoming! Your blog is a blessing too, as I am getting to know you more each day as you share your thoughts and values! I love it, keep sharing! Jonathan is a blessing too! He is truly a rare breed, I thank God for him often, and Holland, such an amazing blend of her two awesome parents!! What a delight she is!! All of you are precious to me!! Last but not least, little Hershey, can't wait to meet her and get to know her as she grows up. I know she will be another delightful flower in the Potter bouquet!! I too am thankful for the hospital, nurses, doctor, friends, and family God has provided for you at this difficult time. I am thankful that you and Jono and Holland have such uplifting spirits and attitudes about the whole scenario!! Much love to ya'll!!!! Mom

Cathy said...

Ashley - I'm so glad you commented on my blog today! I was just thinking about you the other day and wondering where you've been. Now I know!

I will pray for you - for your baby to stay healthy and for your body to do just what it needs to in order for this pregnancy to last as long as possible.

We just got some of the cutest new 7 Gypsies stickers in - all about pregnancy. I may need to bring some to you so you can make a mini book about your journey...

Hang in there, friend.

Kelli said...

Have I mentioned how much I enjoy reading your messages? You are such an inspiration to me Ashley. I just know that everything is going to be fine. God is watching over you all and I will keep praying and praying for you ;-) Thanks for being you!
Love ya,
Kelli

Alyssa said...

I just came across your blog and thought I'd share my story with you. :)

I went in for an ultrasound at 19 weeks and 6 days...and was 1 cm dilated. The membranes were "pushing out" of the cervix and the dr. didn't give us a great prognosis. We decided to have surgery to have a cerclage done even knowing that odds were 50/50. I was put in the hospital on strict bedrest for 3 days...blah...and then sent home. I've been home now for 12 weeks on strict bedrest. :) I'll be 33 weeks tomorrow. I didn't dilate again until I was almost 32 eweks...and have been at 1 cm now for a week.

It is possible. :) I had my good days..and my bad days. Our goals were like yours...24 weeks...26 weeks...28 weeks etc. Now i'm hoping for 34 weeks.

I have two little boys as well...and now how hard it is to be stuck in bed. My 3 year old seems to like me being a captive audience. My 5 year old keeps asking when I can get up.

Good luck to you! I know it's hard...harder than anyone realizes...but you can do it!

Ashley said...

Alyssa,

Thank you so much for sharing your story. It is so encouraging to hear about women in my similiar situation persevering.

Congratulations on 33 weeks! That is very exciting!

Have you been on the sidelines site? How did you find me? just curious!

Have a good weekend!

Ashley

Bartholomew Snibbs said...

Thanks Ashley. As sorry as I am that you have to go through this, it cheers me to read your posting. You inspire me.

Peter

Uma said...

"The Right Stuff" doesn't just refer to the heart of an astronaut. It also describes the bravery, patience, and tenacity of people in other situations. You, dear girl, have "The Right Stuff".
Love,
Ursumagrandma

Jill said...

Hi!
I saw your blog info from sidelines. I think your blog is so neat! I wish I could've done this on bedrest at the hospital. At 22 weeks I went on home bedrest with a very shortened cervix and a lot of contractions.I went into labor at 26 weeks being 1 cm and 80% effaced. I was in antepartum for 6 weeks (on terb pump too)
Like you know, Good days and bad days. Somehow the days seemed to go fast. I was released at 32.5 weeks and made it to 35 weeks with my twins (a day after I stopped the terb pump they were born)
It seemed I would never get there, but each day passed, adding up to weeks. once you are through with your bedrest you will think on this as one of your greatest achievements in life. Your positive attitude (though some days are hard) helps so much. I had days where I cried and felt like I was more of a "sick patient" not a women celebrating her pregnancy. I felt sad that I was not experiencing the "normal" joy of going out and showing off my belly, preparing the babies room (though I did fold their laundry and smell the dreft on the bed) and being "carefree". At this point there is so much uncertainty. I would be thrilled to make it each week and then not know - would I make it to the next day?? But, the days ticked on and the babies grew. My thrill was each ultrasound seeing him and her kick and move and getting their new weights.
I had the steroid shots at 26.5 weeks and again at about 28 or 29 weeks.
I kept reminding myself that my twins were truely God's children and he would take care of them no matter what happened. He is caring for your daughter as well.
If you ever want to e-mail, my e-mail is
jvelicer@charter.net

Keep on growing little one!
~ Jill (from sidelines - prayfor2)

Anonymous said...

Ashley-
I was just googling "bedrest blog" when I came upon yours. I've had a lot of time to look since I've been in bed 87 days...and 28 more until she is full term. There is a light at the end of the tunnel.
My email is dunsirn@verizon.net. This pregnancy was actually easier on me than my last one. With my 3 year old, I was on bedrest at 29 weeks because I was 3-4 cm dilated...and I had a scheduled c-section at 39 weeks. I think that helped give us the confidence that we would make it. Ironically...with my 5 year old..I was induced at 42 weeks because my body would not dilate for anything.
Have you reached the point yet where you've asked your perinatologist to put you in a coma for 4 weeks. :) Kind of just "wake me up when it's over?" I tried that a couple of times....she never went for it.
It's horribly difficult to have no control over your life...but it does get better. I had a melt down again yesterday but my dr. has said I can get up at 35 weeks..so that is what is keeping me going.

I am thinking about you a lot...I know how horrible it is to lay in bed and think about nothing but your baby...and just to count down the days. Keep up the positive attitude. It helps!

Alyssa

angelmeg said...

Ashley,

Don't forget that you are blessed with your sense of humor. Can you imagine what life would be like without that?