Thursday, March 8, 2007

DAY 36: Stupid Things Health Care Providers Say

I am constantly amazed at some of the stuff that has come out of the mouths of my doctors and nurses. Some of the things are just completely stupid. Some of the the things are appalling. Some of the things are offensive. And most all of them lack any sort of respect or compassion, and much less any consideration for the fears, anxieties, and struggles that a mom on bedrest is going through. Here are some examples of things I have actually heard; you can decide which category they fit into!

"Well, I hear movement so there must still be a baby in there" (said while the nurse was monitoring me and searching for baby's heartbeat).

"You are in a really bad situation. You have a raw deal. I'm so sorry." (my first night in the hospital).

"Your're cervix is staying about the same. That's good. It's definitely better than the alternative".

"Well, you have an ultrasound on Monday. We are really hoping you stay pregnant".

"Have you felt any gush of fluid like your water broke?" (almost daily I here this - don't you think I would push my little nurse button if this happened?)

"Have another boring day! We like boring around here. Boring is good" (this is the default salutation - I have heard it or some variation of it from at least 4 or 5 different doctors).

"Yes, going home would a sacrifice, but having a baby in NICU is a sacrifice you need to consider also." (this was in the context of me talking about it being harder for me to be at home but I would sacrifice that because it would be easier for my husband and daughter).

"Do you know what it means to be on bedrest?" (a nurse said this to me one day when I was sitting up. I'd been here three weeks at this point and damn well aware of what bedrest is! I was barely even sitting up). And then she continued on but got much worse....

"Well, I really hate to see a baby go to NICU if they don't have to" (OMG! As if...... Needless to say after this comment I had some choice words for her and thank God she hasn't been my nurse since).


Nancy said...

Hi Ashley, I hear you on these comments! I have gotten a variation on many of them myself. I've been getting the "boring is good" one a lot lately.

Guess you got a few choice ones today, huh? Hopefully you won't have to see the nurse(s) who came up with that stuff again and just see the nicer ones.

Hope you have a good night!

Unknown said...

I had "You have a very sick baby in there."
There was nothing wrong with him at all!!
Praying for you,

Brandi (Kim's step-sister)

Ashley said...


Sorry you had to hear that. Unbelievable! I swear they don't think first.

P.S Kim who?


Anonymous said...

Hey Ashley (& other bedrest mom's)!

How about putting a sign on your door that says "optimism appreciated in this room"? Maybe they'll get a little hint?

Or even stronger "optimism is the required password for entry"?